NZ

Okay. Am going to skip 'Myself'' and go on to the other lives whom I can't live without. My babies. My pride and joy. The loves of my life. The ones I'm most proud of.

This entry is dedicated to Nadia.

I suppose like with any firstborn, you really have no idea what to expect of a child. Of your OWN child. Not someone or something you can play with, then return to its owner. But your flesh and blood and your responsibility for the rest of your life no matter how old (or how smart! ) they get.

I was expecting Nadia when I had to go back for my final year of university in gloomy cold Coventry. I had to handle morning sickness on my own and it was not fun. My 'new' husband was 10,000 miles away and to experience this on my own made me 'grow up' real quick. I remember taking the bus to my pre-natal check ups at the NHS OBG clinics  in town and feeling quite sad that I was on my own. 

As with all my pregnancies, I must say that I was very lucky to have had mild discomfort and overall an easy time throughout the 9 months (4 times!). I can't, until today comprehend how some people 'suffer' so much with morning sickness and cramps etc. I must stress however, luck definitely wasn't on my side when giving birth though! Horrors of horrors! I don't even want to think about it and definitely not going to recall the looong hours of contractions and gasping for air! Yikes.

Nadia was a good baby and I think it was us adults, who were too anxious and too 'careful' that somehow, subconsciously, she felt it too. So she was a little fussy, a little 'spoilt' (manja) and I remember how with every sniffle, I'd rush her to the pediatrician. It wasn't her fault. It was ours; first time mum,dad,grandma & grandpa. I will never forget this; my husband was carrying her to stop her fr crying and every time she stopped, he'd sit down and she would start crying again. It was really funny actually. At one point, he said, 'Nadia! we're already on the 3rd floor, it makes no difference if I sit down!' 

Nadia went to nursery/kindergarten at the age of 1+! It was my aunt's place, 'Rasa Sayang' in Taman Tun. She was well taken care of there and I think her love for reading started then where she was surrounded by the Peter & Jane series. Thank you Aunty :) 

But before that, pre-maid days (my friends know how LONG our maid has been with us!) she was taken care of very well by another aunt who has since passed. I can never thank you enough, Mami, for caring and taking care of Nadia then. May Allah bless your soul and may you be amongst angels up there in heaven.

Back to kindy days, I remember her getting an 'award' for being the longest staying pupil there!! That was quite funny. I mean, to be in kindergarten for that long!

Nadia was always quite shy. She never liked being the centre of attention. She'd quietly read her books and because she didn't like to be called upon, she'd always make sure she was polite and checked her manners and did her homework. Oh, she was also Miss Prim and Proper.

She's different now (in a good way of course), more confident, more independent but still considerate of others. One thing that  I'm so glad is that she is very close to her siblings and I don't think she realises this, but deep down they have a lot of respect for her. I can't remember a time when she'd quarrel or get too angry with any of them simply because I think they just accepted her as the kakak and 'listened' to her. Of all 4, she's the most tolerant and would give in to the others most of the time.

One way of getting her to be bolder and to shed some of her timidness, was to force her to do things on her own when she was younger ignoring the reluctant 'sebak' look on her face. I made her pay for her own things at the cashier while I stood at a distance. It was that or not buying at all! I didn't coddle her much coz she had a brother the following year and a sister the year after that.
Yeap! Couldn't stop having babies even if i wanted to! 

I'd make sure I didn't use baby talk and I remember 'experimenting' something with her. I had a Welsh lecturer who was married to a Filipino. I met his family at a X'mas do and was so fascinated by their son. He was maybe 4 years old then and spoke English to the dad and when he turned to his mum, he spoke perfect Tagalog! I couldn't wait to try this out with my own kids and so with Nadia, the deal was, with me she'd speak English and with her papa, Malay. Well, that didn't quite turn out as planned because she ended up speaking a lot more English! Boo papa!
She has become quite the writer and she is the one who prompted me to start blogging. I think she's been blogging now for more than 7 years, maybe?

Growing up, I had little or almost no problems with Nadia at school. I'm very blessed indeed. Someone once told me that if we are sincere in what we do, we might not be rewarded personally but the reward will be in our children.  And I still hold on to that belief. And I still try to be as sincere as I possibly can.

Nadia loves fashion and has impeccable taste. I never taught her this. Traits like this is just innate. You can teach manners and etiquette but not something like this. And I'm very proud of this coz you can't help but feel wonderful when others compliment your children on their behaviour and manners or even over something like fashion. Oh. One thing she's picked up from me though, is the love of books. Again, innate. And like me, she can't sing either! Hehehe. Sorry, girl. 

We're close, Nadia and I. And I can't stress how important the bond is, between children and their mums. I've been in school long enough to see the sad reality of broken families or the rifts between parents and their children that I thank God for giving me patience and compassion to handle kids. There are no secrets between Nadia and I and how I miss our talks and gossips on the drive to school then later, college. Oh, and our love for tv series! That's another blog altogether!

It's my hope and dreams that she'll have the life she's always wanted. I've played my role and now she's on her way to living her dreams. I know she knows that she's in my doa every single time (just as the other 4 are) and I'm her biggest fan.

She's a daughter any mother would be lucky to have and I'm the one who struck gold in Nadia.